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~YouCantUnderstand

every day is my own
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About Me Member Wannabe Poet HikaruFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 528 Deviations
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-- Sightless --

It's a warm August day and she sits in her room, legs crossed and elbows on the windowsill with her chin in her hands. Dark hazel irises stare out with child-like wonder at the cars speeding past her house. They're all going somewhere with happy families or parents going out for the night. Their lives are all in motion and they can always sleep easy. Or is that really the truth? Deep inside this girl wonders if maybe, just maybe, the people passing by are just like her; lonely and unable to sleep at night due to regret. They look so happy. There's always a reason why people look as happy as they do. Everyone has had their fair share of pain a
"Sightless" was written for one of the clubs I am in, Self-Injury Club. This was written around Christmas time and it was encouraged to be hope for other self-injurers over the holiday season. I wrote this as non-fiction.

It's a very personal piece because it reflects back on a relapse I had after a year of staying free. Losing that kind of progress just shows me I'm not as strong as I'd like to think, but we all fall down sometimes. I wanted to raise my voice and make it clear that self-injury isn't a taboo like some people make it. This is a real issue involving real people who are in pain. People who need to be heard, whose needs should be acknowledged, and whose pain should be answered. If that doesn't happen, we lose more people we love to the darkness that consumes those who suffer from self-injury every day. We lose them to suicide.

So speak up if you dare to oppose those shouting that self-injury isn't a real issue. Acknowledge those who are whispering to be heard.

Newest

-- Waking Up --Although life is filled with surprises and constant wonders, there are some concepts in life that will never fail to take my breath away. Words of kindness make my heart skip beats while just a simple smile paired with a nod can make my world feel so much lighter. Small gestures can make the world feel less cold, and like there's more to life than you felt at the time before. There's just one thing that will never cease to amaze me, though.   
About a year ago I would wake up every morning feeling like a heavy weight was resting on me. I didn't feel like the skin I was in fit me at all. Every day was so long and I didn't want to hav -- Waking Up --
by ~YouCantUnderstand
Stuck in the MomentThe air is too heavy  Lights are too bright  You're standing there in front of me  But your words fail to communicate   
It's this dream, this beautiful nightmare  That keeps me awake at night  The way it felt to be stuck in the moment  When you tore my heart out   
Nothing can fill the gaping hole you left  Leaving me for dead with tears burning  At the backs of my eyes unable to say  Anything I wish I had now   
It's this moment that repeats  How your voice sounded with your  Words like knives cutting me apart  Slowly but surely until nothing was left Stuck in the Moment
by ~YouCantUnderstand
So Far AwayActions betray words that are meant  To bring so much feeling into this world  But instead leave me cold and uncertain  Wondering if everything you've said is a lie   
Why do I have to feel this way when  All I ever wanted to do was love you  You're so far away and I can't seem  To reach you where you are   
Our radios are out of frequency  Hearts not beating to the same rhythm  Making it nearly impossible to get  A glimpse of what's really inside   
You reach for my hand as I fall  Tripping and slipping away slowly  Unbeknown to you who dares to stand   So Far Away
by ~YouCantUnderstand
Outside Looking InSwear to me you love me  Then tear me into pieces  Slowly but surely suffering  Unable to break away   
Day after day I try to smile  Seeing you in the halls makes me  Remember how much it hurts to  Try and pretend like nothing is wrong   
Can't you just look past the smile  And deep into my eyes  Somewhere in there is the quiet cry  Screaming out loud 'I'm not okay'   
I swear to you this will be the last time  I'll kiss those lips of yours  I'll feel the things I do for you  But I just can't release myself from this burden   
Tomorrow I'll tr Outside Looking In
by ~YouCantUnderstand
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...school eated me.

Wed Nov 4, 2009, 10:48 PM
  • Mood: Attraction
  • Listening to: Does Anybody Hear Her? - Casting Crowns
  • Reading: The Bible
  • Watching: Magical words appearing as I type!
  • Eating: CAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
  • Drinking: Nothing
The end?
Dx
If you want to talk, note me.
WRITERS BLOCK

Stay strong.
I'm here always.

God bless.

Always,
~YouCantUnderstand member of *Self-InjuryClub and =RawEm0tion

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deviantID

The name would be Erika and I am an Emotional Wannabe Poet, to be very annoyingly specific. I don't find I have all that much talent, people just say I have a way with words. My goals here are to appreciate art, herd llamas, and express myself. The way I write is just who I am. It's raw and it's real. I don't care what people think usually because I won't live my life based off other people's opinions of me. Love me or hate me but I am who I am. There's no changing that and I wouldn't change for anything in this world. Even for a lifetime supply of chocolate. My favorite animal is probably a panda bear, cow, or llama. My birthday is June 27th. I was born under the astrological sign of Cancer and I won't tell you my age. You probably couldn't figure it out to save your life so I'll let you guess and fail over and over and over. I love rainbows, sushi, my wonderful girl, photography, and art in general. I support To Write Love On Her Arms because it is a movement that truly reflects what I've gone through and what one of my personal missions in life is. You are never as alone as you think, and there are those out there willing to listen to the whispers of the screaming of other voices. I had people who listened and saved me from the darkness that almost took me. If you're wondering, why yes, I am still here. My life song would have to be 'Fix You' by Coldplay. I usually live by the following three phrases: 'If you never try you'll never know', 'Life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself', and 'Love is like a fire, you can either step into it and be incinerated or be warmed forever'.

I am taken by the sweetest, most wonderful, beautiful, beyond stunning, past amazing girl ever.

It's crazy how I feel right now because I can guarantee you some people would say it's just not right. I don't care, though. 'Cause I just love her.

I wonder why she wants somebody like me when she could have anyone she ever wanted. It makes me feel incredibly blessed that she wants me. I'd rather be alone than know I can't be with her because I can live without her, but without her I'll be miserable at best. She is my whole world, my everything, my saving grace, my only one, my heart, and my life. For now and probably forever, I will love her until I die. <3

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Somewhere Over the Rainbow~
  • Interests: Art is my life and music is the blood in my veins.
  • Favourite movie: The Illusionist, The Princess Bride, and 10 Things I Hate About You
  • Favourite band or musician: Coldplay, Imogen Heap, The Veronicas, MCR, FOB, Daughtry, The Used, t.A.T.u, and more...
  • Favourite genre of music: Alternative
  • Favourite artist: Monet
  • Favourite poet or writer: Shakespeare, Gail Giles, David Levithan, Alex Sanchez, and J.K. Rowling
  • Favourite photographer: N/A
  • Favourite style of art: Expressionism
  • Operating System: Windows XP
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod Nano
  • Favourite game: N/A
  • Favourite gaming platform: N/A
  • Favourite cartoon character: Winnie the Pooh (it counts, dumbasses)
  • Personal Quote: These scars run deep, and they will consume me if I do not find a purpose for this pain.
  • Tools of the Trade: Prisma colored pencils, number two pencils, pens, sketchooks, and notebooks, mostly...

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:iconpaulie-nka:
~paulie-nka Oct 2, 2009, 4:26:48 AM
Thank you for the fav. :heart:
:iconyoucantunderstand:
~YouCantUnderstand Oct 5, 2009, 5:06:45 PM
No problem. :heart:

--
I can live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best. She makes me feel beautiful again. She takes away my pain. In her arms, I can be free. In her eyes, I can be myself. For her, I'd give anything. I love her so very much. <3
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