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:iconyoucantunderstand:

~YouCantUnderstand

every day is my own
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About Me Member Wannabe Poet HikaruFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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-- Sightless --

It's a warm August day and she sits in her room, legs crossed and elbows on the windowsill with her chin in her hands. Dark hazel irises stare out with child-like wonder at the cars speeding past her house. They're all going somewhere with happy families or parents going out for the night. Their lives are all in motion and they can always sleep easy. Or is that really the truth? Deep inside this girl wonders if maybe, just maybe, the people passing by are just like her; lonely and unable to sleep at night due to regret. They look so happy. There's always a reason why people look as happy as they do. Everyone has had their fair share of pain a
"Sightless" was written for one of the clubs I am in, Self-Injury Club. This was written around Christmas time and it was encouraged to be hope for other self-injurers over the holiday season. I wrote this as non-fiction. This is really actually something person to me and I thought a lot about the mixed reactions I would get. The thing is, I don't care. There's a way out and there are people listening to the cries of those who just want to be heard. Self-injury is out there and it cannot be ignored. For if the cries go ignored, then we will lose more family members or friends to the darkness, to suicide.

Newest

Never EasierScars from before are mending  As every moment I spend  Looking into your perfect eyes  Another wound disappears   
Trying to heal years of scars  Takes more time than I think  We'll ever have to share together  But if we try, maybe we'll know   
What it takes to help  Revive human wreckage like me  Somebody whose always known  Nothing but loneliness and pain   
Every night it's never easier  To express my love for you  It's so difficult for me to express  Feelings I don't even understand   
Blame it all on those before you  The ones that Never Easier
by ~YouCantUnderstand
Said and Done
by ~YouCantUnderstand
Better than BeforeMorning breaks over the hills  Pouring warm rays into my room  Burning away the darkness  As I welcome another day   
So this is what it feels like  To know you've survived  A storm that almost took you  Far away into complete silence   
The days were slow  While some never really ended  Leaving dreams empty  And thoughts scattered   
Just trying to get by  Hoping that tomorrow would be  Something better than before  To give another reason to live   
Somewhere in my heart I believe  There's a purpose for all the pain  A reason to keep Better than Before
by ~YouCantUnderstand
Going Up, Falling DownAll these broken promises  Stare right back at me  Daring me to say anything  When some are my mistakes   
You're trying to make me see  It isn't all my fault for the  Pain I've endured day and night  Trying to keep a smile on   
But I can't see past the  Scars on my wrists  Telling me I'm always  Going up and falling down   
I've tried time and time again  To put the past away  In neat stacks in tiny boxes  Packing it far away   
The ghosts keep coming back  Reminding me I'm not strong  Like I'd rather pretend I am  Instead of f Going Up, Falling Down
by ~YouCantUnderstand
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Unexpected Deaths and Other Things...

Fri Jun 26, 2009, 10:59 PM
  • Mood: Yearning
  • Listening to: Childhood - Michael Jackson
  • Reading: The Bible
  • Watching: Magical words appearing as I type!
  • Eating: Nothing. D:
  • Drinking: Tea!
As the world has heard by now, both Michael Jackson (50) and Farrah Fawcett (62) are dead.

I'll take a moment to write about both of them...

Michael Jackson might've made some choices in life that deterred attention from his musical legacy. There are still quite a few people out there who still view him as a pedophile, though nothing was ever proved right or wrong. I see people saying 'good riddance' and 'I won't mourn for a pedophile'. That honestly and seriously disturbs me on some level. It's definitely not shocking some people can't get out of their little heads. Mr. Jackson was a true legend because of his musical influence. He revolutionized pop and had a very large impact on the musical industry. He brought into the industry fresh new material that ignited a whole new generation of music since then. For this, Michael Jackson, to me, will be remembered as a musical legend, and the true King of Pop. May he rest in peace.

Farrah Fawcett was a strong woman. She fought long and hard against cancer. Though, at first, she was frustrated when she found out what she had, she turned it around and made the decision to show the world her experiences to help people understand they're not alone in their fight. She inspired many and left behind lessons we all must learn in life. She was truly an angel, and will be remembered as the gentle voice that said: "Good morning, Charlie." Farrah was an angel, and always will be now. May she rest in peace.

I do deeply care for both of their passings, for they were both inspirational people. They will be dearly missed, and I wish them both good luck in the next world. May God bless their souls as they depart for a better place.

Apart from all this depressing news...

If you're wondering about my submission 'Better than Before' ([link]), than I best explain myself quickly. This submission marks my five years of choosing to stay here. If you're wondering, why yes... June 27th is my birthday. ^^

I haven't regretted for a single day staying. Although, sometimes the going gets tough, all I have to do is remember that there are still people who love me and care for me deeply. There will be those who put me down and try to hurt me, but I don't have to bother myself with those kinds of people. My life hasn't been easy these past years. Nobody's has, I don't think. Life ain't easy, and we all know this. But we all make decisions in life. My decision was to see what tomorrow would bring.

Right now, I have more than enough reasons to fight. I have the most wonderful friends a girl could ever ask for. They've saved my life time and time again. I have a past-amazing girlfriend. She's the best dream I ever had come true.

Every day I have here in this life is a blessing, truly. Being loved is a gift, not a given right.

Some days I wonder how I got this lucky, honestly... And I just don't know. But I'm glad I'm still here. I've made my mistakes, and I know I'll make more, but it's all a part of growing up and moving forward in life.

Another year it is, indeed. c:

That's all I have to say. Have a good night and a good week. Until the next time I update. :blowkiss:

God bless. All the best to everyone always.

Always,
~YouCantUnderstand, member of =RawEm0tion and *Self-InjuryClub

PS: The inspirational song of this week that I've had would be 'Childhood' by Michael Jackson ([link]).

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Journal History

deviantID

The name would be Erika and I am an Emotional Wannabe Poet, to be very annoyingly specific. I don't find I have all that much talent, people just say I have a way with words. My goals here are to appreciate art, herd llamas, and express myself. The way I write is just who I am. It's raw and it's real. I don't care what people think usually because I won't live my life based off other people's opinions of me. Love me or hate me but I am who I am. There's no changing that and I wouldn't change for anything in this world. Even for a lifetime supply of chocolate. My favorite animal is probably a panda bear, cow, or llama. My birthday is June 27th. I was born under the astrological sign of Cancer and I won't tell you my age. You probably couldn't figure it out to save your life so I'll let you guess and fail over and over and over. I love rainbows, sushi, my wonderful girl, photography, and art in general. I support To Write Love On Her Arms because it is a movement that truly reflects what I've gone through and what one of my personal missions in life is. You are never as alone as you think, and there are those out there willing to listen to the whispers of the screaming of other voices. I had people who listened and saved me from the darkness that almost took me. If you're wondering, why yes, I am still here. My life song would have to be 'Fix You' by Coldplay. I usually live by the following three phrases: 'If you never try you'll never know', 'Life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself', and 'Love is like a fire, you can either step into it and be incinerated or be warmed forever'.

I am taken by the sweetest, most wonderful, beautiful, beyond stunning, past amazing girl ever.
I've re-written this many, many, many times. I think I won't rewrite this one, though. There is no way to describe the way she makes me feel every single time we're together. All the time I spent alone just trying to cover up my scars is now time I spend in her arms, mending the scars of the past. She's my saving grace. She's everything I ever wanted. And she's everything I'll ever need. Nothing in this world can change the way I feel for her. Until my last breath, I am hers. She is everything to me. She'll always be a part of me, no matter what happens. Almost every night, I dream about being with her forever. Without her, I'll be miserable at best. I love her so much that these words aren't even enough to say how much. <3

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Somewhere over that ever-so-gay RAINBOW!
  • Interests: Art is my life and music is the blood in my veins.
  • Favourite movie: The Illusionist, The Princess Bride, and 10 Things I Hate About You
  • Favourite band or musician: Coldplay, Snow Patrol, Lifehouse, MCR, Hellogoodbye, Keane...
  • Favourite genre of music: Alternative
  • Favourite artist: Monet
  • Favourite poet or writer: Shakespeare, Gail Giles, David Levithan, Alex Sanchez, and J.K. Rowling
  • Favourite photographer: N/A
  • Favourite style of art: Expressionism
  • Operating System: Windows XP
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod Nano
  • Favourite game: N/A
  • Favourite gaming platform: N/A
  • Favourite cartoon character: Winnie the Pooh (it counts)
  • Personal Quote: There is a purpose for this pain and a story to these scars; speak up if you dare.
  • Tools of the Trade: Prisma colored pencils, number two pencils, pens, sketchooks, and notebooks, mostly...

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Comments


=irinama:iconirinama: 12 hours 42 minutes ago
:iconlvplz:Thank you for the :+fav::heart:
~YouCantUnderstand:iconYouCantUnderstand: 2 hours 26 minutes ago
My pleasure. :heart:

--
Sometimes we never intend to fall in love after our hearts have suffered far too much. But it just happens. We have no control over what our hearts desire or feel. I've learned this. And I'm sorry to my heart for my indecisiveness about love.
~Aracari:iconAracari: 1 day 1 hour ago
Thank you so much for the fav! :heart: :hug:

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Have fun storming the castle!
~YouCantUnderstand:iconYouCantUnderstand: 20 hours 1 minute ago
So welcome. :heart: :hug:

--
Sometimes we never intend to fall in love after our hearts have suffered far too much. But it just happens. We have no control over what our hearts desire or feel. I've learned this. And I'm sorry to my heart for my indecisiveness about love.
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